As my big birthday approaches, I cannot help but wonder, is it all downhill from here on? I remember being really happy somewhere in my late teens, hanging out with friends, not having to rush around for this lesson or that, smelling the roses and taking in the sights. i also remember being somewhat happy in gloomy London because while the rest of the world seem to hate the gloom, i actually loved the weather. There was also a short period in California, when i didn't feel like a total recluse. I recall the Friday nights spent in clubs with the gal pals. those were happy memories. These days, i wonder what's come over me. I prefer to stay home with the telly. I prefer to text and email instead of the good ole telephone. I don't even mind that Matt works long hours. I don't feel like baking anymore. My freezer is full of frozen dinners and ice-cream, i don't even care what size fits me nowadays. i go to work in the morning, waiting for 5pm to arrive, co