Forgive and Forget

one of my friends from stanford just had a baby. yeps. this ain't the first baby born to someone i know and of my age. and this morning, i just found out a friend who looks barely 40 has a 23 year-old daughter. she's already a grandma btw.. my jaw dropped all the way to the basement. as most of you would know, i don't wish to have kids. here are some basic reasons why...

1. loss of money - huge huge monetary investment. besides the trips to the gynae/pediatrician/family physician, prepare for the shopping trips to polo kids, gap kids, and osh kosh that will zap you of your $$ for the next 8-10 years. [following that the teen would bug you about polo, gap, mango, and zara. and the adult will talk about coach, gucci, fendi and the like.] not to mention the piano, swimming and ballet lessons. oh, and let's not talk about their college education...
2. loss of freedom - need to report back for feedings of the animals, no holidays for the first few years unless you have some fantastic help from trusted resources, less meeting up with your single friends cos you can't club... blah blah the works.
3. loss of identity - you are no longer you, but someone's mother. and then you cause your friends to "upgrade" to auntie status. THAT is totally not nice especially to the friends who've upgraded.
4. loss of hair - have you heard the horror stories of new mums finding they have thinning hair? eeks!!! and my hair is considered thin already. Nuhuh, no thank you.
5. your figure - you will never ever look the same again. dump all pre-maternity clothing and mourn their demise.
6. wetting your clothes - c'mon you've heard this before, besides losing your diginity by being called a "mobile cow" and lugging the pump around, expressing milk into bottles every 2-3 hours, you have to suffer embarassing situations of having your shirt wet.
7. gorged nippies - do i have to say more? of course you can argue about points 5-6, just don't breast feed right? No. well, try not to and see what you'll have to endure from breastfeeding mummies.
8. arguments on how to discipline the kid - with in-laws, parents, the aunties who somehow all think they know how you SHOULD do it.
9. loss of conversation topics - notice how parents start losing their conversational skills... i'll bet it's the baby talk coupled with their lives being overwhelmed by one/oh dear!two/shite!three/ omg four screaming kids, thus explaining the lack of topics other than the obvious kid related one e.g. nappy rash. i'm sorry, it's fashion over nappies for me.
10. huge baggies - no more cute, fashionable handbags. most parents carry a huge waterproof bag with the milk bottles, wet wipes, puke bags, toys, books, milk powder, extra change of clothes, extra everything. when the kids get older, the bag becomes a spongebob backpack with the playstation, lightsabre, remote control cars, etc. every trip out of the house is like an overnight trip where you have to prepare for all embarassing eventuality.

i may not want kids. but then, my religion prohibits me from saying i won't ever have kids. you know what i mean when you venture into a catholic church one day. i think the minimum number of kids per set of parents is 2. and there is never an absolute answer for anything. just look at my plans to move to uk. poof! so if one day God calls me aside and asks me why i haven't used the miracuolous ability he's bestowed on womenfolk, i may change my mind. but for the [next 10 years] till then, no thanks.